Tuesday, June 19, 2018

I analyse and i ruin

Every expression, on her face,
I read, i absorbed, i memorised,
Only to play it again and again
To torment myself,
Just a little more,
Every little smug smile,
Or a sly glance at me, i notice
I don't forget it,
It pierce's my eyes, first
Then my heart, rarely it does reach my soul
Iam thankful not everything is stored there,
She writes, something on her wall,
I glance, I store, and torment myself again,
Is that for me
What did i do
Sometimes i think so much,
I can ruin moments,
Sometimes i cant even remain in a moment,
I find it so excruciating to be here,
In the now, nowadays,
Is it just me?
Or it's every body?
Does everyone analyse things as much as I do
Maybe they do,
Coz if they didn't,
There would be more smiles and laughter around
In a world full of so many opinions
I drown in a sea of my own analytics
I look forward to a world
Where I think less
And do even lesser,
I just could be the observer
The witness,
I could calmly let the world go by
And watch with non attachment in my heart
Is that worth it?
Would that humor me, just a little bit?

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Capernaum