Monday, December 21, 2009

Kid's dilemma or more so a parents dilemma

What is the fuss about

The fuss todays young parents create about their little ones in amazing to watch. I understand that we as adults must give a choice to our children and all that new age  mumbo jumbo.. but i was just wondering otherwise. Its a simple thing, if we dont give our kid the exposure it needs at a young age, if we start helping them form judgements and opinions in a young age as young as THREE.. god knows how judgmental and closed this person is going to grow up and be. And dont mind me saying this, our society doesnt have any dearth of opinionated and judgmental people that we want another generation to grow up like that.

Why it should bother us:
 Certainly there are going to be lot of arguements on this, and one i did have myself with a friend. This friend belives that a child should not be forced about things like, attending a concert/ weather or not it wants to be a part of a particular party/ weather or not he wants to go to somebodies house or not. Its a three year old child, let him/her expereince things, dont give in to everything every tantrum of his.

Wat am i saying: arent we restricting him from having a wholesome experience of life.. he likes it or not comes at a latter stage.
I am not one for imposing things on anybody, but all i am saying is give him the exposure, so that he is not too quick in making judgements about situations and events.

Remebering how we grew up:
I remember having attended lot of functions, lot of getogethers, family, friends, movies, playing with other kids, being tagged along for surfing expeditions of elder cousins while the kids played in shallow with woofy(pet), we saw it all.. we were every where, doing lot of things, ofcourse we didnt decide weather we liked a place or not, but we just went with the flow.
With the ourburst of new parenting rules and this whole theories of choice and let them be, let them do what they like, i wont force him, is fine,, but somewhere i think it is robing children of that innocence. By not taking him to a concert because he got bored in a previous one is like saying, i wont sing again, because i lost in that particular music concert.

Giving them a choice but with the right exposure:

I believe that children need to experience a lot, our over protecting them and fussing over them only makes them even fussier individuals. Take them along with you, let them enjoy, not like it once/ twice.. explain to them, that give it a shot, see if you like it, dont make your child a restless human, who cant sit in one place for even a minute.

Let him be a wholesome individual who has seen the world and then makes his own choices about what he likes and what he doesnt. As far as adult hood is concerened there is a lot of time for opinions and judgements, let him see, experience, dont force but dont make him a fuss too.. If you can get him along to a friends house even when he doesnt like it that much then i am sure you are keeping him away from concerts other places only because its convenient to you.

Lastly, i do beleive in freedom of choice, and i am  no dictator, but i also firmly think that as a child you ought to experience so much and be a whole rounded personality who is game for everything in life and such kids certainly do grow up to be enthusiastic about life. Others who are left to choice, i feel are big fusses in life.

So take your child out, enjoy with him/her, show them your world, make them a part of your life too, maybe when they grow up they will be more accepting and enthusiastic and not judge situations or people.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009



Why do women try to become thin after all, why arent we ever happy with the way we look, why do we have to look so good all the time, what is with us and the weighty issue. I would like to ponder over all this today..

Now why do i say, that its not that bad is because any situation in our lives, cannot be that bad after all. Really, you realize this only after a  lot of thinking, a lot of experience and pondering over your own experiences. Today i am going to write about the age old problem of weight loss. Really what is with women and weight, i never got to understand this, but as they say you are either slim and fit or you are not. If you are, then either you have a thin gene or you excersice regularly, if you don't then maybe, you haven't taken care of that body or your gene is just a fat one. Without getting too philosophical about the fat problem i am going to impart very simple and easy pointer which can be followed to beneficial results.

1) Sorry to break the bad news- Some people have the tendency to put on weight and you will put on weight even if you believe that you are starving youself.

2) No amount of starving will make you thin.

3) TO loose those pounds, EAT!

4) Start by simply getting active around the house, cut the maid some slack and move your butt to do mundane things like, giving the plate you eat in a wash, run down the stairs to keep the trash, and climb back too, do the dusting yourself, make your own bed every day, (its quite tiring to pin up all the four sides), cook- it takes lot of energy to cook, the cutting/chopping/bending for vessels/ the whole routine can be surprisingly fulfilling and help you burn important calories.

5) Take up gardening, do it yourself.

6) Infact, DIY in all situations and see the results.

7) Fill your kitchen and fridge with - Fruits, Nuts, greens, vegetables and whenever you are hungry, try to eat a fruit salad or just munch on the apple,, instead of lays and aliva and all the junk you get today.

8) Try lemon shots after lunch and dinner, cuts the carb and removes toxins from the body.

9) Eat dinner before 8 pm, that will give you some time to digest the food and also have a fruit 2 hrs after the meal if you want.

10) Raise early, go for a walk, start with stretching and some yoga. Do what makes you happy. If it is dance, then take up that dance class you have ben thinking of all your life. Just shake up, and wake up.

11) You have to have atleast one activity in a day, yoga, walking, swimming, aerobics, pilates, whatever works for you. Belive me, you are never too busyfor you health.

12) Lastly, each persons system is different, your body works differently, just accept it. Be consistent in whatever exercise routine you have.

13, Lastly lastly, you just have to, have to put in effort, no miracles will happen, you are the miracle to make it happen. So, just go for it.

(Early risers are a little ahead of people who sleep till late, its simple, they get up early and get to plan their day, its tough, but its not impossible. Push yourself and tell your body, once you have seen the benefits of waking up early belive a me, you wont love your bed as much as you do now)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Bai bye bye- will we ever say this?

Why is an Indian household incomplete without a bai? many of us have pondered over this thought and still hired one. Let me explain the concept of the bai to people who may not know her too well. A bai is a house maid, she is a helping hand in the never ending house chores in Indian homes.

She will do as much as you pay her, they come in all kinds, they are part time ones, then you have the full time ones, there are the in house maids too. But they all have their own conditions and no two 'bai's have the same process of work.

In our diverse land you will find that almost everyone who can afford has to have a Bai. Be it towns or cities, villages or taluks, the rich and the famous and the not so rich and the famous, every body needs her. In some HIndi movies the eternal Ramu kaka tried to replace the Shanta bai, but alas, kaka had to give up to make room for the fairer sex.

Now, the more you pay her the more comfort she gives you. NRI's miss this comfort and so hire one and also pay for her ticket when they take her abroad. SInce Indians are not the best at DYI situations, they think it is really best to take one from here to give the memsahib some relief from the house work.

I always thought that we  have one simply because we can afford her and because mummy cant do everything on her own and i didnt want to do the work either. Only after all these years of home makergiri have i really understood why maids are so important.

Its all because the Of the MEN! yes its them, now dont get me wrong, its not some men like Shiney Ahuja i am talking about who need bai's for other reasons, i am talking about men in general, like my husband, ur husband, her brother, her father.. MEN as a race..

They dont want to help around the home at all. its like i get the bread, so you do everything, even if the woman does get the share of the bread, still she is expected to balance things and strike a balance between work and homework. A man doesnt want to get up from his sofa and even arrange the dinner table, nor does he think drying the clothes for a change would be quite a help to the poor wife, or take the kids out for a change, or for that matter, give the dhobi clothes for ironing, damn they dont even know, where the clothes are.

And all this, thanks to mommys.. Mommys are always pampering the sons which makes them the king who shouldnt do anything at home. He is ghar ka beta, or man of the house, and he shouldnt be asked to clean even his stinking bathroom and toilet. Gosh, can you beat that, men in our country and maybe others too, i havent seen much families outside.. generally, men are lords..

and so, alaas, the BAI rules.

The bai gives us trouble, takes huge amounts as salary and doesnt show up just when the 'bartan' have over flowed  from the sink. Just when you are going to have 10 people for lunch, just when you had that very important class to attend.. In short we are at the mercy of this all doer woman, who is so capable in what she does tat she can finish the entire household work in an hours time and you thought it would take the entire day.

That is why we pay them so much. That is the reason, Indian Bai is indispensible..

Bliss - Music i go to these days