Saturday, December 24, 2016

Different masks

Why is being someone so important?

Itseems there is a mask for each and every profession. It is called names. And seems to be we as a society, love it.

I have heard phrases like, "I sing, therefore I am", "I run, therefore I am."
For me, its, "I breath, therefore i am."

I am a writer, i am a singer, i am an architect, I am a dancer, I am a banker, I am a content developer, I am a scientist. Seems like even an act like running seems to be getting a name, "I am a runner".
Our very identities are locked up in who we became in this world, rather than who we really are, before we became all of those things. Once we manage to latch on to one of the many identities, the many words that the dictionary has about who we are, we seem to forget who we actually are.

If law is what i have studied, am I a lawyer, beyond this there is no identity? I find this the most with doctors, its almost like sainthood. And most doctors i have met, are so attached to their tittle, they even carry it into their marriages and other relationships they make. They love the tittle so much, that they forget their names, i have a neighbor who has named her wifi as, "Dr Radha internet". It shows up because.. everyone knows how we know, so i will save the explanation.

I was just reading about people who have created homes for stray dogs, all over the world there are such individuals who work towards causes like these. Wonder what they call them, oh, they did give him a name, "Dogfather". So now he is no more ... Shukla. He is dogfather. (So much respect for such work, by the way)

So what do you do? Next time try saying, I live?

I still struggle with the question, So what do you do?


Friday, December 23, 2016

Early morning and Yoga.





My entire life i have struggled to get up early, thats what i told myself. But something shifts every winter, in the months of November and December, and I end up getting up really early. I hope to continue this waking up early for the rest of my years, but i am waiting for the winter to pass by to really see if I continue and can wake up from the harshness of the fan or the AC chill in summers.

My wake up time went from being 6.30 with great difficulty, i had to push, to 4.30 in a day. How, one would ask. It was my yoga graduation day, and we had a ceremony which was huge and grand and very peaceful. So from that day, I began my journey of waking up early. The day I had my graduation, I woke up, just like that, headed towards my mat, and started stretches and did a little yoga. During the day, I got my certification from Pradeep our teacher and guide, I touched his feet took blessings from the other guests and came back with a big smile on my face. I had a degree in my hand, i was a yoga teacher, certified. Did it sink in, no, actually no, but what it did is i woke up everyday after that day. I woke up at the same time, and its been a month now, actually more than a month, i am into my second month of 4.30. It keeps getting earlier, sometimes i get up at 3.30.

How do I feel, I feel great about waking up that early, but a voice in me says, deepen yourself there, anchor deepen, like own your practice. So my attempt my prayaas, my goal, is to go deeper, where I am aware of my body, my mind, my movements, where i don't have a zillion thoughts while practicing, where my meditation is so deep that i use this precious time in my favour, and not just make it another ritual. Have I made it another ritual? Is it just about waking up at the same time? what ever it is, now that I have started my voice tells me, 'Just walk the path'. Just continue, your teacher has given you a lamp, light that everyday, feel the heat of that  light and go for it.

May the strenght of this great practice be healing. May i heal myself of anxiety and anger.