Skip to main content

Create your own ME time, Sex and the City style..

Cirlce of trust-create one of your own:

arrie Bradshaw and her three best friends, Miranda Hobbs, Charlotte York and Samantha Jones in the famous citcom, Sex and the City may send us all girls really envious and sigh, i wish i had such friends, i wish i had the thing that these girls share. This is certainly for people who watch one of these citcomes like Friends and Sex and the City and the likes. These serials are based on friendships, relationships, social problems, sex, taboos, myths jargans and many other things. What it also focusses a lot on is relationships, actually the centric point about them is the kind of relationship that friends share.

Unlike, our serials which are very much about the relationships more closer to home, they focus on an individuals level, like her career, her friends, her relationships with maybe bosses, lovers, neighbours etc.

I personally would love to have a caring Carrie, a daring and adventurous Samantha or the sensitive Charlotte or the cool Miranda in my life and i think many women of our generation think so too and agree with me. Me and my dear friend often sigh about not having a circle of trust like these girls have. But again, i go back to thinking, is it that we really dont have such people around us or are we always looking for something apart from what we have. Its like this, I have x but I want y.
Why is it that we are always looking for something, and we cant see the people we already have in our lives. Sure our hearts and minds will start comparing with the tele charachters and want people in life to behave and act like those charachters in the reel, but thats not possible, hello, because we are real people and not perfect.

Perfection doesnt exist in those charachters too in the serials, they have their own shortcomings too. But i have seen this too many times in life, infact i myself am guilty of shunning some people from my life, just cause they dont fit into my bracket of friendship. Really, to have a circle like the sex and the city ones, is so rare. To want something is one thing, but to really have it is another, and many of us could actually have that if only we gave up looking for perfection in people, If we ourselves arent perfect how can we expect someone else to be.

I could be wrong, but i have seen this in our society, our priorities are different. Here we have so many people vying for our attention that it becomes difficult to maintain a cirle of trust like the ones we really want. My search for a group or cirlcle like the four charachters took me on a long journey of search. But i realised, that its difficult for us, unlike my UK days, where i made more friends in a year than i ever did in my entire life back home, life demanded more from us here in our homeland. There is Family, there is family keertans, there is family getogethers, there is family birthdays, there is also the 'own home' purchases projects, there is this entire rut of life. Then there are maid servants, there are children, could be babies, could be school going, could be full grown adults but still babies, there are husbands, there are in laws, there are shopping trips, there are saloon trips, there are meeting the parents trips, there Is the Internet time, there is the money handling time and a lot more time. But i wonder in all this, is there a ME time for the average middle class person??

People with babies have to do what they have to do, people with little children have to do what THEY have to do, in the same way each one of us has to what each one has to do. But if you see, for a woman to have ME time in a middle class scenrio is really difficult. Or its just that we dont want to have it. We are so use to prioritising maids first in our lives and then the children that we hardly ever live for ourselves. Is it so difficult? I dont have children as of yet so may be i am missing out the real point here, when my friends tell me they have to work around their kid to make some Me time, i wonder, if i am better off without a kid here.. I love children, but i love life too.. it should nt be an obstruction to anything, i mean dont treat your kid like she/he is a hindarance for you to do what you want to do, teach him to be independant from a young age, teach him that mom has a life of her own too. And if you think that this will happen all of a sudden one day, guess what, it wont. I have an aunt in her early 50's who still has to work around her children, who are working adults to have some ME time.

So, to be a Carrie or Miranda or Samantha, or Charllote, we have to prioritise life, in a way that each one gets to live some life as ME time. I would never give up ME time, but hey wait a minute, maybe mumdom can be excused, because Mirandas life too goes up side down when a baby comes into her life. so maybe its difficult for young mums, but if you see its a life long thing, you will always have somehting to do, somewhere to go, Can you give up Me time for that??

Sigh, wish i had friends like that (sex and the city; Friends) Hey look around, maybe you do.. you are just not aware that you already have great company, just be aware and go have fun, make ME time.


♥ Braja said…
Interesting post, but we do have to remember that these are not only fictional characters, but fictional lifestyles, plots, storylines, and situations. They are a a neatly packaged reflection of what people *think* they want, but are just illusional. The r/ships you write of---the family, the maidservants, the kirtan night people, everything---they're the reality of r/ships in our life, and in those people *everything* we want exists....we just need to know how to open it....
malini said…
Yeah Braja, so true. Firstly thanks for your response. Yes we need to know how to open it.. everything we want exists in these relationships.. But then, there is always this but which butts in, saying but why dont I have these kind off people, why doesnt someone get me like, the way other friends get each other...
So you are saying that, people just "think" that they want something but infact are in a place they actually shud be and always wanted to be.. hmm.. thats an interesting thought..

Popular posts from this blog

Too close for comfort-Bombaying Bengaluru?

(If you are wondering, why this image? its my dream, well sort of and it doesn't exist in reality, at least not in the current "Grab every inch of earth and destroy it for i want my money" type of scenario.)

As we complete almost a decade in our first home, I long and fidjet to move out our current home into a new place. Ofcourse I haven't found my dream place as of yet. Mostly because i know nothing of that sort exists anymore. You either like what you get, or you get what you want. The later being more difficult, as it involves, searching for what you want, narrowing down on the place, doing research on neighborhood, and a whole lot of things.

Any visit to a newly launched complex in Bangalore throws you out of balance. Atleast thats the case with me, as I am what you call an old Bangalorean and am more use to a low rise life style with a minimal respectful space of bedrooms and kitchen and bathroom spaces. We grew up witnessing, big spaces, large verandahs, warm h…
Guys, please be like Ayushmann Khurrana of Shubh Mangal Saavdhan and talk about ‘gents problem’!  Author-malini misra.  (This article of mine, was published on "Bonobology". A site dedicated to couple relationships. 
Shubh Mangal Saavdhan has brought the issue of Erectile Dysfunction into discussion, but it is still a taboo to actually name it Image source
Being a man was never more complicated than it is today. One in every 4 men could be affected by this problem, globally. Before turning 40, most men have encountered an issue in the area of sexual health. But how many seek medical help is a different conversation. Over the counter drugs like Viagra and other drugs are also being tried out more than ever before.While Erectile Dysfunction has been around as long as eternity, it’s only in modern times that even movies are discussing it not discreetly but openly, or maybe not that openly. As some of the reviews are noting,Shubh Mangal Saavdhandoesn’t once openly mention the med…

Burning issue- Bruhut Bengaluru!

Its about 4 am or a little more than 4 am, maybe 4.10 am, but its am, yes, morning, early morning. Once again I cannot sleep any longer, something is keeping me awake. I wonder how the hell is everyone asleep. How is an entire population of people, not bothered? doesn't care, wont move, will lie like a log. Not that i am blaming them, they had a tough day, a bad day, a busy day, a rough day, so understandable, sleep is important.

But, not when your house is on Fire! Literally, now its a pile next to your house, or a huge collection centre on the main road, tomorrow, it could actually be in our homes. Actually even if its not in our homes, its smoke, it enters our homes. it is bad, very bad.
Right now, is my yoga time and i am up here on my desk writing this, as i just cannot concentrate on myself anymore with this raging issue facing us. But people are sleeping.

"Hey did you smell that?
That horrible smell of garbage and smoke?!!!
Oh, oh, now that you say, yaaaa... hmm…