Yeh Dil Kyun Dhadakne Do!

Too many critical views on Zoya Akhtar’s latest Bollywood venture Dil Dhadakne Do. I found most of these views outright dismissive, which obviously proved wrong, in due course. Reviews with comments like, characters won't stay with you, the movie is too long, there is nothing to take away from this movie were floating in the papers and online. But going with Zoya's reputation, I would not miss the movie for a few reviews, by some overtly critical people. 

The reviews can take a walk as the movie has touched a chord with many a urban viewers and has even raked many intricate issues which usually are brushed under the carpet in Indian families. The movie also does leave you with a lot of thought. Of Course if you were looking for enlightenment then you would rather take a yoga retreat in Rishikesh than look for it in a commercial Hindi movie. 

I for one really liked the movie, and my “Aha” moments of the movie were many, and I would definitely like to point out a few of those scenes to the readers so that Zoya Akhtar's efforts are not buried under a heap of “Boos”.

a)   Unconditional love between siblings.

This was special; for me Kabir taking sister Ayesha’s side, come what may. how sweet that he actually feels the hurt of a daughter for being treated as second citizen in her own home was very refreshing to see. Kabir's stand for his sister is something, which really steals your heart. There’s something about a brother’s love, which makes most men insecure, and this is captured in a beautiful way. Watch out for Ranvir’s “aunty wo butter knife hai” scene with Zarina Wahab. It shows the naughtiness only a brother can get away with.

b)   Papa is always there.

Loved it when Kamal Mehra takes his son in law Manav by the collar. Manav incidentally exhibits his chauvinism to his wife in front of the whole family. Thats when Kamal decides enough is enough and stands up for his daughter. This scene moved me to tears, as finally the patriarchal mindset of Kamal understands a daughter’s anguish and protects her. This scene is a statement because though we speak of fathers having a soft corner for daughters, our society still refuses to speak up when she goes through turmoil by the hands of in laws or husband.

c)    Women Rock.

DDD is not a women’s empowerment movement. But there are scenes which are speaking of a new wave. When Farhan’s character, Sunny points out to Manav played by Rahul Bose using the expression “I allow my wife to work” as derogatory and not justifying his “equality” qualm. It’s quite a scene. Hats off to Zoya, its not overtly loud and preachy, but subtle and straight and hits the bull in the eye.

Also DDD captures the subtle things which people miss, women who have made it to the Forbes list on their own, daughters who are not given their credit, fathers who see the son as everything, mothers who advise their daughters to shut up in an unhappy marriage, there is also a display of steering of the stereotypical image of Muslim girls. Farah played by Anushka shares her story of running away from home for the love of dance and art. 

d)   Subtle Humour.

Anil Kapoor as Kamal Mehera will amuse you, and disgust you at the same time. In Piku we saw parents can nag, here we will see a much more hidden side shown brilliantly, that they can brag. “I am a self made man”, now, how many times have you heard that! Kamal Mehera and his wife are bitter about each other, but at the same time they will shock you with their unity in scheming to keep family money intact. So is the business world cunning? One wonders. What did your parents bribe you with? A toy car? An ice cream, a Cadbury? A Barbie?  I burst out into laughter when Anil Kapoor in a straight face asks, “Plane chahiye ke nai tumhe?” as bribe. Epic!

e)   Choose love, swim or drown.

Love doesnt have to be only between two people, it could be your love for music or dance or science too. Anushka or Farah is a Muslim girl who runs away from home to follow her love or passion for dance. She tells Kabir or Ranvir, when the time comes there are choices, either swim or drown. 

And also Love happens, believe.
I loved the instant karmic connection shown between Ranveer and Anushka. Guys, have we forgotten, this is how it, this is pure romance. But the director also doesn't wish away lust, yes that matters too. You need to lust after your object of love. Loved the openness with which the Farah and Kabir share about each other and show that they have a connection. No cat and mice games here. 

f)     Stand up for Yourself, no one else can.

Ayesha, Priyanka Chopra is stuck in an unhappy loveless marriage, she has unappreciative parents and inlaws. Still she starts her own company and takes it to great heights. She respects her husband and his family enough to keep quiet when she is silenced at every sentence at the dinner table. But she respects herself also enough to walk away when she can’t pretend anymore. What I saw is love is the greatest bond, if there is no love in a relationship, one can choose to make oneself happy. Loved the scene where she tells her husband, “I want a divorce”. Standing for oneself and not staying unhappy, go girl!

g)   Character artistes get a second chance.

Parmeet Sethi, where were you, welcome back.   

h)   Life is short, take a cruise, go on vacations

Yes, there is a lot of opulence and riches which most of us do not relate to and yes, many of us feel a pang of ‘ J’ (jealousy) in our tummies, but please loosen up and look at the brighter side.  You get to set your itinerary for the next trip. You can either be inspired or choose to wallow in your jealousy. Choose.  Though less beautiful than the Titanic, this cruise enticed me a bit though.

The scene where Ayesha stands on the deck looking at the sea reminded me of Rose in Titanic. And Jack aka Sunny here, says, “I read your mind, you were planning to jump isn’t it”.

e) Respect animals, never say shoo!

Amir Khans voice and the cute Pluto and his philosophical commentary, stole my heart. If my guess is right, Javed Akhtar has worked his magic of words in form of Pluto Mehera’s mind speak, or rather heart speak.

Did I just read, this cruise isn’t docking anywhere type of review somewhere. Don’t go for it, try DDD, probably your heart will learn to say Dhak Dhak once again.  Once again I would say Zoya Akhtar has captured some easy to miss emotions very typical to our society.

"All set to celebrate independence day, but how free are we really?? Pre-independence the British hit us, today our own ppl are out with moral Dikats spreading equal or more amount of violence.. Yesterday, we sang azadi songs and wantd it badly, todays generation badly thinks, "did we make it large, was it all worth it!!!"..
Corruption, child labour, female foeticide, honour killing, and more... Gandhi now exists in our memories/as statues/on currency notes... but not in our hearts, in our living, we have forgotten there is a Gandhi in all of us.. are we really free of jealousy, of fear, of insecurity, of maliciouness, of manipulation?? are we free spirited,, maybe only when on high spirits!"

Jug suriya (writer and columnist) - aapne mere mooh ki baat cheen li,)
 In an article that appeared in the TOI yesterday, he has reflected the voice of a few if not many in our nation, check it out!! worth a read..
=>

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-articles/lifestyle/independent-thoughts

Another idol

I am not sure if building homes for Gods is only a typically Indian fascination or it is throughout the world. Since every God and Godman is on facebook, I have subscribed to a few and get their updates everyday. Its interesting to note the number of temples coming up everywhere on a daily basis. I dont know how many schools or ashrams come up, but God-homes, yes, every day we mortals would have constructed one grand house for our favourite God. Today its Atlanta, yesterday, it was Toranto, before that Newzealand, and even before that... never mind, i have lost count.

If God is omnipresent and everywhere, do we need these many temples especially when, people are dying in droughts, children dont have enough to eat, there is not enough shelter for humans, there is poverty everywhere,  many people are living below poverty line and many dont even get to live a dignified life, with basic human rights. Though these are very obvious facts and look like table top discussions and we talk about it everyday, they are important questions.

Do we need these many temples? Cant that money be invested in serving humanity instead? 

wake up time

Great theories, philosophies, great edit columns, great judgements and news bulletin analysis, great intellectual gyaan in everydays papers, greatest spiritual columns and books being published and people indulging in spiritual and intellectual shopping like never before.. Still, and still we have tragedies like 89 deaths in a top-notch hospital, irony is thy name India.... India needs to wake up, just knowledge and spiritual GYAAN wont help, get the gyaan into our daily lives, into policies, into Action....

(all we do is gyaan, bhashan and more preaching, wat is the use of brilliant edits written by brilliant editors sitting in newspaper offices?? rules are still flouted left, right and centre, who cares that a hospital didnt have any fire drills ever, they had every exit blocked... todays edit says, we need soul searching, ofcourse we do, more than the common man its the government, the policy makers, the people who run these hospital BUSINESS who need to really put all the gyaan into practise)

I try

I try to look for fun in mundane things,

I try to be happy doing the most ordinary things,

I try to make the most out of the simple offerings of life,

I try not to stress out because my path is getting tougher and rougher,

I try to remain calm and tell myself that it is possible,

I try to look at the brighter side of problems,

I try to keep it simple and smile more,

But while i keep at the ‘trying’, i try not to use the word "Try" at all..

So,

I look for fun in mundane things,

I am  happy doing the most ordinary things,

I make the most out of the simple offerings of life,

I do not stress out because my path is getting tougher and rougher,

I remain calm and tell myself that it is possible,

I look at the brighter side of problems,

I  keep it simple and smile more.. 

I stopped  the "trying" and started the "Doing"

-M

Now

we are becoming more and more progressive, but are we loosing the human touch,

we are becoming very techno savy people, but are we becoming less of savy with our own tribe,

we are becoming very hip and hep in talking the english language, but are we forgetting the language of the heart,

we are becoming very full fledged humans who are well rounded and know lot of things, but are we knowing less about ourselves,

we are buying left, right and centre, but are we trading our peace in the exchange,

we are eating out like never before, but are we neglecting conveniently the good old home cooked meals and the nutrition that they provided,

we are sending our kids to the best of the cosmopolitan and competetive schools, but are we spending enough time with them to teach them things they will never learn in a school,

we are all fancy modern spiritualists today, we are reading a lot of philospophy, but are we applying any of it to our lives,

we know a lot about american sitcoms, we are travelling like never before, but are we forgetting home is where the heart lies,

with all these questions and perplexes and dilemmas, the modern man/woman lives on like never before, maybe because he has understood that Now is where his life is and i am glad in a way that we get to live this kind of life, this kind of a wholesome life where everything is a possiblitity and nothing is out of reach for anyone. i like my 'Now'.

Go Maid less

Can Indians ever go ‘Maid-less’

This is a million dollar question but I think I definitely have the answer for it. The answer is NO.

We, can never go maid-less. Now you must be wondering, shirt-less to suna tha! What is this, maid-less. Well, the modern day urban necessity, your ‘Kaamwali bai’ ‘Kelasadaulu’, your highness.

“Who’s the hottest girl in the world, my maid, my bai, my maid, my bai,

 katka lagake, she’ll clean your floor, my maid, my maid, my darling maid..”

Well, in our cities where maids have become the life-line of our homes, its difficult to imagine a life without one. She is mandatory today, she is indispensible than ever, she is the ultimate help at home. Without one, we often feel lost and exhausted, by the end of the day.

Each time a maid leaves me, I pass this resolution, “oh, I am never going to keep another” its like a broken heart swearing not to get into a relationship again. That is the exact feeling, I feel I have just broken up with someone and it takes me long before my wounds are healed, till I find another ‘bai’.

But, today the urban woman has learnt her lessons, its like the new gen x, they don’t hang on to old partners for long, in the same way, young housewives or working damsels, find a new ‘bai’ really soon.  It is like ‘tu nahi to koi aur sahi’. (if not you, someone less maybe)

The Indian maid is at an all-time high, she is the hottest girl in town. You could credit this phenomenon to many reasons, some to the new economic independence of women, some to the 6 figure salaries of husbands, funnily, some anti-software engineers will associate every problem to the ‘software boom kano’, Puleez give the poor guys a break, they slog enough. 

But interestingly, some reasons, you could also attribute to the absolute lack of DIY (do it yourself) culture of India. Whats with us people, seriously, we need help for practically everything, we have one person to dust the muck of our chairs, we have people to do our toilets too. (which I feel is really our and only our own business)

On the other hand, where royalty too is trying its best to go all, DIY, India is still far behind. Prince William and his hone wali, don’t want maids or servants in their newly – wed life as they want to enjoy marital bliss, to the hilt without the continuous presence of servants, butlers and bai’s.

Not very far away, a neighbor of mine who is in her early 50’s never had a maid in her entire life. “Who will run after them, and shell out so much money each month. I end up saving so much money and I am fit throughout the year. I am very happy doing my own work”. Well, Geetha here was a bank employee and never felt the need even while her daughters were growing up.  She owes all this to her habit of not being lazy.

Lazy, well, a major part of the maid-dependence also goes on the fact that the lack of a DIY culture has made Indians plain lazy. And this won’t change in the near future, maybe because of the fact that I see kids have dedicated maids these days. These maids look after the kid, feed it, play with it and even will put it to bed before she leaves, like a full-time nanny, the only difference being, our nannys are mostly poor uneducated women with little or no knowledge of bringing up a child. Obviously not blaming her, she does her best for the fat pay-check she gets for this hand full of a job.

Not to forget, our men. Now this breed is just not use to doing their own work at all, they have this reason of we, earn the bread. This makes us left with no choice but to opt for external help.  What do working women have to say about this?  Johana, a teacher at a private school, says that she doesn’t have to hear this but admits that even if her husband is the helping type, more than often the house work is her headache. There is something about the house and the woman which makes it inevitable for her to do everything.

Affordability is another factor, today we can afford to pay them 5k – 7k for an entire days service. “I have the money so I ll pay her and get the job done, I have a social life and hobbies, and I am not interested in house-hold work, it’s a waste of time, when I can get the job done, why DIY?” asks Damini, a housewife.

Not only, does the wonder-lady do all jhaadu-katka, kapda, bartan  in this, she will also cook for another 3000k. So, an all-time high for maids has arrived and will rise even more with time.  

There is also the immigrants from small towns, districts and villages who move from place to place in search of new jobs for a livelihood. This population works wherever their husbands get a job, while the men take up jobs as painters and construction workers the women hunt for houses to do what the urban lady no more wants to do.

There are also speculations that very soon, we may not find maids, as all the maids are educating their children and these children will never work in house-holds however good the pay. They want a plush work atmosphere like the malls, multiplex, restaurants or the ever so famous clothing showrooms. They also find jobs in the supermarkets as cashiers and customer service executives. Though the work hours are long there, compared to a day job in a house, today’s have-nots have preferences.

So, its not that we can no more do our own jobs at home, but we are still counting on the old time maid population and hoping that there are enough, which can last atleast another generation. Maid or no maid, it’s common knowledge that house-work is never ending, and so till there is work, there is the maid.   And till they last, apna, kaam chal jayega bhai!! So why go maid-less!