Mera Jahan

wake up time

2011-12-12T22:53:00.001-08:00

Great theories, philosophies, great edit columns, great judgements and news bulletin analysis, great intellectual gyaan in everydays papers, greatest spiritual columns and books being published and people indulging in spiritual and intellectual shopping like never before.. Still, and still we have tragedies like 89 deaths in a top-notch hospital, irony is thy name India.... India needs to wake up, just knowledge and spiritual GYAAN wont help, get the gyaan into our daily lives, into policies, into Action....

(all we do is gyaan, bhashan and more preaching, wat is the use of brilliant edits written by brilliant editors sitting in newspaper offices?? rules are still flouted left, right and centre, who cares that a hospital didnt have any fire drills ever, they had every exit blocked... todays edit says, we need soul searching, ofcourse we do, more than the common man its the government, the policy makers, the people who run these hospital BUSINESS who need to really put all the gyaan into practise)

I try

2011-08-03T07:06:00.001-07:00

I try to look for fun in mundane things,

I try to be happy doing the most ordinary things,

I try to make the most out of the simple offerings of life,

I try not to stress out because my path is getting tougher and rougher,

I try to remain calm and tell myself that it is possible,

I try to look at the brighter side of problems,

I try to keep it simple and smile more,

But while i keep at the ‘trying’, i try not to use the word "Try" at all..

So,

I look for fun in mundane things,

I am happy doing the most ordinary things,

I make the most out of the simple offerings of life,

I do not stress out because my path is getting tougher and rougher,

I remain calm and tell myself that it is possible,

I look at the brighter side of problems,

I keep it simple and smile more..

I stopped the "trying" and started the "Doing"

-M

Now

2011-08-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

we are becoming more and more progressive, but are we loosing the human touch,

we are becoming very techno savy people, but are we becoming less of savy with our own tribe,

we are becoming very hip and hep in talking the english language, but are we forgetting the language of the heart,

we are becoming very full fledged humans who are well rounded and know lot of things, but are we knowing less about ourselves,

we are buying left, right and centre, but are we trading our peace in the exchange,

we are eating out like never before, but are we neglecting conveniently the good old home cooked meals and the nutrition that they provided,

we are sending our kids to the best of the cosmopolitan and competetive schools, but are we spending enough time with them to teach them things they will never learn in a school,

we are all fancy modern spiritualists today, we are reading a lot of philospophy, but are we applying any of it to our lives,

we know a lot about american sitcoms, we are travelling like never before, but are we forgetting home is where the heart lies,

with all these questions and perplexes and dilemmas, the modern man/woman lives on like never before, maybe because he has understood that Now is where his life is and i am glad in a way that we get to live this kind of life, this kind of a wholesome life where everything is a possiblitity and nothing is out of reach for anyone. i like my 'Now'.

Go Maid less

2011-03-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

Can Indians ever go ‘Maid-less’

This is a million dollar question but I think I definitely have the answer for it. The answer is NO.

We, can never go maid-less. Now you must be wondering, shirt-less to suna tha! What is this, maid-less. Well, the modern day urban necessity, your ‘Kaamwali bai’ ‘Kelasadaulu’, your highness.

“Who’s the hottest girl in the world, my maid, my bai, my maid, my bai,

katka lagake, she’ll clean your floor, my maid, my maid, my darling maid..”

Well, in our cities where maids have become the life-line of our homes, its difficult to imagine a life without one. She is mandatory today, she is indispensible than ever, she is the ultimate help at home. Without one, we often feel lost and exhausted, by the end of the day.

Each time a maid leaves me, I pass this resolution, “oh, I am never going to keep another” its like a broken heart swearing not to get into a relationship again. That is the exact feeling, I feel I have just broken up with someone and it takes me long before my wounds are healed, till I find another ‘bai’.

But, today the urban woman has learnt her lessons, its like the new gen x, they don’t hang on to old partners for long, in the same way, young housewives or working damsels, find a new ‘bai’ really soon. It is like ‘tu nahi to koi aur sahi’. (if not you, someone less maybe)

The Indian maid is at an all-time high, she is the hottest girl in town. You could credit this phenomenon to many reasons, some to the new economic independence of women, some to the 6 figure salaries of husbands, funnily, some anti-software engineers will associate every problem to the ‘software boom kano’, Puleez give the poor guys a break, they slog enough.

But interestingly, some reasons, you could also attribute to the absolute lack of DIY (do it yourself) culture of India. Whats with us people, seriously, we need help for practically everything, we have one person to dust the muck of our chairs, we have people to do our toilets too. (which I feel is really our and only our own business)

On the other hand, where royalty too is trying its best to go all, DIY, India is still far behind. Prince William and his hone wali, don’t want maids or servants in their newly – wed life as they want to enjoy marital bliss, to the hilt without the continuous presence of servants, butlers and bai’s.

Not very far away, a neighbor of mine who is in her early 50’s never had a maid in her entire life. “Who will run after them, and shell out so much money each month. I end up saving so much money and I am fit throughout the year. I am very happy doing my own work”. Well, Geetha here was a bank employee and never felt the need even while her daughters were growing up. She owes all this to her habit of not being lazy.

Lazy, well, a major part of the maid-dependence also goes on the fact that the lack of a DIY culture has made Indians plain lazy. And this won’t change in the near future, maybe because of the fact that I see kids have dedicated maids these days. These maids look after the kid, feed it, play with it and even will put it to bed before she leaves, like a full-time nanny, the only difference being, our nannys are mostly poor uneducated women with little or no knowledge of bringing up a child. Obviously not blaming her, she does her best for the fat pay-check she gets for this hand full of a job.

Not to forget, our men. Now this breed is just not use to doing their own work at all, they have this reason of we, earn the bread. This makes us left with no choice but to opt for external help. What do working women have to say about this? Johana, a teacher at a private school, says that she doesn’t have to hear this but admits that even if her husband is the helping type, more than often the house work is her headache. There is something about the house and the woman which makes it inevitable for her to do everything.

Affordability is another factor, today we can afford to pay them 5k – 7k for an entire days service. “I have the money so I ll pay her and get the job done, I have a social life and hobbies, and I am not interested in house-hold work, it’s a waste of time, when I can get the job done, why DIY?” asks Damini, a housewife.

Not only, does the wonder-lady do all jhaadu-katka, kapda, bartan in this, she will also cook for another 3000k. So, an all-time high for maids has arrived and will rise even more with time.

There is also the immigrants from small towns, districts and villages who move from place to place in search of new jobs for a livelihood. This population works wherever their husbands get a job, while the men take up jobs as painters and construction workers the women hunt for houses to do what the urban lady no more wants to do.

There are also speculations that very soon, we may not find maids, as all the maids are educating their children and these children will never work in house-holds however good the pay. They want a plush work atmosphere like the malls, multiplex, restaurants or the ever so famous clothing showrooms. They also find jobs in the supermarkets as cashiers and customer service executives. Though the work hours are long there, compared to a day job in a house, today’s have-nots have preferences.

So, its not that we can no more do our own jobs at home, but we are still counting on the old time maid population and hoping that there are enough, which can last atleast another generation. Maid or no maid, it’s common knowledge that house-work is never ending, and so till there is work, there is the maid. And till they last, apna, kaam chal jayega bhai!! So why go maid-less!

The new skeptic India!!

2011-01-03T23:31:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share the news of my best friend getting married in the near future, with a neighbor of mine (who is now a confirmed new friend). So, here i go all excited, "oh! you know what, my best friend is getting engaged next week, instead of the usual excitement, that you expect, what do i hear, 'its hasnt yet happened right? So, tell everyone, when it happens!!" I am like, a water balloon was just phishedd on me, you know the feeling of being shut up right.

I understand the emotion, not arguing about why she did this, but just wondering as i was going through another argument on FB. There were arguments about not sharing a good news with friends immediately but sharing it after a month or two. The explanation being, the elders advised to report only after two months. Got it!!

The famous 'Nazar lag jayegi' Indian phenomenon. Or is it just Indian, i have heard this a lot of times, Dont tell until it happens, otherwise it wont happen. Well, were we always like this? were we always skeptic about sharing good things that happen in our lives with others, did we always fear that something would go wrong for sure?

Well, i have a certain thought on this, i think, with so much of talk about ask from the universe and the universe will conspire to get you that thing, i thing it is important for all of us, to express or share the good things, cause if they say that you attract what you think then certainly, we should share.

But where does one draw the line and with whom? Is it ok to be this skeptic in this day and age? Must we always live in the fear of "oh i should not tell, maybe it may not happen at all". Or should i go ahead and tell the world about the love i found, or that my sister is getting married, or that i have won a lottery, or that i am looking at buying a car, or that i have a new business venture plan. Should we share? should we be skeptic? Should we be selective and hide? I think i would leave it on "to each, his own".

My Papa-My daddy-Strongesht.. na na-i mean it!!

2010-10-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

You know what makes my dad the best, yeah yeah, go on, make fun of me; say things like, heres another school girl, trying to participate in one of those Muqabalas "my daddy's strongesht". Its ok! Laugh at me, but i have to say this.

He really is the best, not because he is my dad or something. He is the best for all people who know him, to his nephews, nieces, friends, business associates, acquaintances, his customers at the restaurant, his staff, people who have known him forever, people who just meet him or just anybody. There is something about his personality which really is so attractive, so pleasing, so alluring and so magnanimous. I for one, never got hit by papa, thank god for that, otherwise the Karate Champ would have really punched me hard, Just in case... Actually my brother too didn't get any memorable beating by him, nothing that we remember.

Other than the several several good and extra ordinary qualities that he has, the most striking and i think which not many of us have is that papa, always sees other people as huge possibilities of potential. And that is flattering, in a world where we all try hard to prove ourselves and often fail to make a mark, here is a man, who will make you feel like a winner no matter what.

And that is some quality, my friends, its a kind of innocence which the modern man is not born with. We have learnt only to compete with our fellow humans, we haven't learnt to appreciate or cherish each other. I have not even seen the so called Gurus appreciate someone without a reason.

But, my father, sees even rouges as huge possibilities. A friend of his has a wannabe actor son who couldnt even make it as a decent extra in the movies. Today his luck has shined at last upon him and he has got a Villains friend's role, in a regional movie under a big banner. Gosh, do such miracles happen these days or what. Yes they do happen and it happened. However, None of us were impressed, but not papa, Papa actually praised him so much on his muhurat shot that this guy was overwhelmed and couldnt thank Papa more for being this generous. But it was not that papa was being Generous, he was just being HIMSELF.

Thats who HE is. He just sees everybody as a full grown possiblity of their own potentials. He always keeps telling me, why dont you write a book, i am like, papa, its ok to trust your kids, but dont be over ambitious. He was like, its true, be confident, you are a good writer, you can do it! And i will say, Yes under my breath and inside tell myself, Papa, its a different thing to publish a few articles in newspapers and blogs on the internet and its a total different thing to get paid for and make people buy the books you write. But his faith in me as a writer is unflinching. Now that is what a great Man is made of. He is a believer.

A total outcast is what i call one more of my far off relatives son. He is most uninvited, he doesnt socialise, he talks very less, but when he does, its always WRONG.. man... he is hurting.. but thats not my point. My point is, This total outcast of a guy, who practically doesnt talk to his own brother on a daily basis, calls my papa everyday and is really pally with him. He considers my Papa his best friend. Now, again, i am not bragging, but this is the truth, he is being himself, which is looking at every human, even a social outcast as a potential as a possibility of immense talent. NOw this is not a show, he really sees potential and expresses that, so this outcast gets it and prides himself on the fact, that his old pal loves him and actually makes him feel wanted. Yes WANTED, my dad makes this and many other such people really wanted and full of potential.

Now am i sounding like some little girly, who has lost it, on one of her barbie parties and is going on singing, "my daddy strongesht" >? right? yes, i am, but who cares its the truth..

To my dad, every person walking down the earth, is worth something, and whatever i learnt in life is a little bit of my dad. He may not realise this but it is really, he made us see that we are worth it, that we are this powerhouse of talent, waiting for discovery. And he always says, "Khudi ko kar buland itna, ki har raza se pehele, khud khuda tumse puche, bata, teri raza kya hai".. He always says this, raise your bar so high, that, God asks you, What is your wish, and i shall grant you that.

He really made us believe that we are the makers of our own life, that it is destiny but somehow he also unknowingly gave us the intellect that we have the powers to make our own life work by being GOOD Humans.....

(mummy, dont be mad, next write up is you.. and you and pa are not separate for me, tussi dono great ho)--

Acknowledging a problem is the beginning

2010-09-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Make a beginning - Admit it!!

If there is a problem, accept it, don't live in denial. acknowledging a problem, an issue is the biggest challenge we face as humans. Because we all like to live in denial, in a dream land, that every things fine, all is well. I kinda started getting irritated with the slightest remark of "eh chill, allz well yaar". or "oh common, we are always looking at the negative side, we are a young nation, dont always look up, look beneath you"

Oh common!! We are getting it all wrong, topsy turvy, we are in such a deep muddle that we arent realizing that the CWG is going to crumble, i mean i never said it wont take off, but what if players/athletes dont turn up, people from the international community boycott us. Would that make us rise and take notice, say yes, there was a problem.

Shri Shri Ravishankar said this long back, "If there is a situation in life, we first need to acknowledge it, that is the beginning."

Living in denial is the stupidest thing we could do, it doesn't make us bad or something, but it makes us stupid. What are we gaining out of it.. when we keep saying, oh no, these things keep happening, oh this is nothing, you see what a show we shall put up. When, the reality is there for all to see. So, who is it that is looking stupid here, its the person or people or group who is DENYING or Defying a problem.

Lets begin, lets acknowledge, that yes, i have a problem, We are in a SITUATION, a bad one!! That makes us look for a solution immediately.

So if you guys screwed up, which you obviously did, Mr CWG's Babu's ... start immediately by saying, yes, we admit it, we now want to do somthing about it, you see there will be help from all corners, MNC's international sports authorities , individuals, everyones going to join you. Unless you do so, Babu's,, there is NO HOPE AT ALL...
Amen

Latest Table Top Favourite CWG

2010-09-22T19:36:00.000-07:00

Ab bhi jiska khoon na khaula, woh khoon nahi woh paani hai, jo desh ke kaam na aya, woh bekaar jawaani hai.. as we Read Another DISASTER about the CWgames,, its become like a daily joke, another table top discussion. can the common man do anything to save the face of the nation? We all knew that we had INTEGRITY issues as a nation, but this is an eye opener..alls not tat well and India is certainly NOT SHINNING NOW..

I put this up as my status message this morning. I just couldnt help but open my FB early in the morning, which i normally never. What else can we do? what else has the Indian Public done before, Become CITIZEN/s journalists, carry out rallies, protest, dharnas, what else? This has gone too far. I have no words to express my disappointment, once again over my COUNTRY. Why is it so difficult for us to handle things with integrity. Cant we put up a clean, great show, remember Beijing' just last year or maybe a few years back.

Whom are we fooling? when we say things like India's shinning and we are an emerging super power, gosh, there is no greater day dreamer than us. Friends of mine living abroad, tell me that India is shinning and how the world sees it as a super power, well, sure they do, but then, why are you still living abroad, still enjoying boat rides on Thames? still going to Paris for your new years, still visiting New Zealand for your vacation? COme back, live here, its easy to sit there and comment.

Well, i drifted as usual didnt i?? (Its their choice, i know:))

The point is.............. Well, there is none....... We have done it again,, there will be a new line added to American or British slang/Lingo.. "oh, did you pull an India again"
I really hope that doesn't happen.. it wont happen, India will Muddle through this Games too. And then awards will be given to the officials for some great work on the CWG. "What a show we put up".
The same newspapers which carried reports about the mishaps, the same channels which made a fool of all concerned officials and politicians will be running after the same fools to get Sound BYTES on, wow, how did you pull that off, in spite of us ruining it from the beginning? how did you organise such an awesome show... We will have Bollywood biggies shake a leg at some functions of theirs, we ll have the ambanis and the royalties congratulate the government and then this will soon be forgotten.

Public memory is so short. The same channels will be showing the great games live and sports channels will make a hell lota money, and it will go on. Like the Legendary actor-director, Raj Kapoor said, "The show must GO on" ..

In India the same show goes on and on.. I miss Gandhiji a lot these days.. What will he have done if he was there today? Gone on another fast? Gone on another Satyagraha? Wonder if he would have any buyers for that today? For how would we have found the time to join him, he didnt do all of that alone, he had the country with him. But sadly today, out of the little time we find for ourselves, where is the time for a Gandhi?

So, as already stated, the Future is Bright and India is truly SHINNING.. and shinning in its own glory, bragging about its own accomplishments.. Dont know what comes out of these blogs and tweets and status messages, but we write on, we have hope.

Suddenly another thought, Would Gandhiji have hung his head in shame???

i bought myself some organisational skill

2010-09-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Day before yesterday, during the weekend, i did some great work. I was wondering why i didnt do this before. Now, i get to organise my work, i get to jot down pointers in meetings, i look like i am doing some serious work. Now you must be wondering what i bought. I bought a Dairy.. yes not a dairy milk choclate ofcourse, but i bought the other diary, the one which looks fancy and looks like you are the most organised person around!! that one.

Yes!!! In just two days of his company and i am so much more systematic. Wow! now i know why all ceo's have that fancy little notebook with them inspite of having a personal secratary.

We do so many things in one day these days, that it helps to have a reminder, ofcourse the phone does that, but having a dairy is a different ball game. No, i am not a salesman, i just happened to discover something so basic and simple yet profound. I love you, my new dairy. :)

About being back!

2010-05-19T01:30:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to this weekend as i will be watching my favorite Bollywood star Hritik Roshans most awaited movie, 'Kites'. Yes, now how many people really want to know a nobody's weekend schedule.. Not me, would say some reader of this. Yeah, but i still want to share this. I have something to start this blog about.

Ooh, i just stumbled upon Ash's Cannes photos of this year. Wow, is one word, no words always to explain just how beautiful this lady can look. With age she is just getting better. With all the speculations and hulla- gulla about her outfits at this super event, Ash always makes news with what she is going to wear. At a recent interview i saw of her on NDTV, Ash was at her simplest best talking to Anupama Chopra. Ash is no more the giggly girl that she was yesterday and has matured into a poised woman who has a market value of 300 crores running up her head. To this Ash gave such a lovely answer, that she is humbled by such reviews of her market values and her being better than any of the younger heroines and all that. Truely, what would any great person of any era have said anything other than what she said. Of course, you feel humbled by all the attention and grace that you get as a person, as an artiste and every aspect of your life changing for the better.

With the release of the ads of Ravan on every channel, it is hard not to notice how much this actress has grown, from the daredevil acts of dancing on a rock amidst a river to emerging from deep waters, Ash has done it all now. Now i don't know why i am raving about Ash like her personal PR!!

Where did this all start, oh with my weekend, and then Hritik, popped in and then did Ash. With jumping Contexts in life, do you really think, one can achieve a lot. Yes the mind is always jumping, like, in a converstation- Is baat se mujhe yeh yaad aya, arrey, us baat se mujhe woh yaad aya, and then ussi baat se mujhe aur kuch yaad aya... and so it goes on. Thats what normal conversations are like.

In a party at home, have you noticed the conversations? Conversations are like jumping jacks.. you start off with office politics and then nation politics(indias favourite obsession) and then with movies and then with the stars affairs and then, you have lost it.. suddenly there is an argument about rain water harvesting.. waha.. whats going on.. so that is the beauty of being in a group with people.
But how many of you really sit and listen, actually there is nothing to listen, each one is blah blahing about how knowledgeable they are. But its all nice in the end, all is good.

Now where was I? i was just reading these big writers, Amit Verma, Shobha De or a Sagrika Ghosh. Doesnt this happen to them? how can they be so focussed with what they are writing about, how do they manage to write so deeply about a subject. Thinking about this takes me back to my first job in a newspaper.

Wow, what a thrill it was, with all the horrible bosses and easy going colleagues and the not to forget canteen next door, thoughts would flow. But, we also worked on it, we were focused on coming out with this article by evening. So that made us ponder and explore and research this one topic so hard that we found facts, we found, hard hitting facts to write about.

Not having a particular niche or a beat was n advantage for me i think. I would be versatile, flexible and all excited about any topic. That was the level of enthusiasm just about 6 years back. What made me quit a place which shaped me for life in a jiffy? The place which gave me so much name and an opportunity to write so much in so little time,, didnt i think once before i quit, kicking the job like dirt lying in the middle of my way.

How i regret that time i did that. Again, my thought has gone jumping from Hritik to my first journalism job. Mind is funny a times, it will make you jump more than you aerobic teacher or make you bend more than your Yoga master. From Aerobics to Yoga, from writing to journalism, from being focussed to being lost, why does the mind play such games on us.

Can i please say HI to consistency, hi to being focussed, hi to depth in life.. Actually Hi to a better life where all the aspects i missed out while i was growing.. To grow is life.. so from a jumping jack if i ever become still water and then flow, wow, it may take me a lifetime.

Why do i learn music? For what purpose?

2010-03-04T02:49:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me the other day, "For what purpose do you learn, i mean why do you learn, simply-learning or...." I am like, "or what?..." She is like, okay, so you learn simply.
Waha.. I learn simply???.. (funniest statement ever heard) Cause i never thought of my music like that. And i didn't quite get the "simply-learning" though.

But it left me thinking, really why do i learn, is it a valid question to ask!! Well, i learn because i have passion for singing is what i told this lady. I don't know if she got it but she frantically noded her head. (you know like when someone really gets you OR actually disagrees but wants to conceal the disapproval) So i got a HUGE nod. She got it.

Later that night, when i was doing my before bed Riyaaz, that is practice, i was constantly thinking, really why do i learn. Then just like magic, i began to float in my Raag and got transported to some other world and purely enjoyed what i was singing. I was singing a divine raag called, Ahir Bhairav.

I had gotten my answer, -I sing to connect to the divine, I sing to give solace to my soul, I sing not for anybody else but myself, I sing cause it brings me peace, I learn cause i am an eternal seeker, seeker of truth, knowledge of anything that is near perfect. I love to learn, it actually keeps me going. I am not learning to give music exams or pass some tests and get certificates, nor am I learning to please someone else. Its really a Divine connection, when i sing, I meet the divine.

I don't know if that fits into this purposeful world, but my music is my soul.

mera jahan is indeed my world-or do u feel otherwise!!!

2010-03-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

Write to me:

This blog i am writing is really for the first time an inquiry into my writing style and who am I exactly. I have been reading a lot and of course blogging more regularly than before.
A dear friend the other day mentioned to me, that what i think and what i write are very different. She went on to explain, that who I am as a person and what i write are quite contradictory. I took her note seriously because i have always felt i express my views, my thoughts in Mera Jahan, and it is indeed ME here.
I took her note seriously for one more reason, i may be doing this while communicating to people also, i maybe saying things which i don't really mean.

So i went back and had a closer look at some of the things i have penned here. I couldn't get any single line which i didn't mean. But since my friend knows me pretty well, i decided to further ponder upon this and get views from more friends and people whom i follow too.

So people who know me, if you do happen to be reading this, please feel free to write in. Is there a contradiction, is there something i am missing, what more would you like me to write about..

It could be one line, one word, one para.. anything you feel, and if you dont think anything too, its good to hear from you anytime.

So.. you can tell me...

Nothing will happen, its ok, kuch nai hoga, yenu agalla, bidu..

2010-02-24T21:55:00.000-08:00

All is not well...Sid(we) really needs to wake up!!

The Carlton tower episode has once again brought to the front of our callous and non-committal attitude. Safety norms were flouted big time this time and every time. How many more lives? how many more tragedies, how many more attacks? how many more accidents will it take for us to really wake up?

What happened yesterday at Carlton will certainly not shake us up, as i say this in a most pessimistic tone i know this for sure that, life will resume to normalcy very soon, papers and channels will also forget about carrying anything or any story pertaining this mishap or disaster and some overtly optimistic people will rave about the spirit of the city that got back to normal so soon. While i wonder if we should really rave about the spirits of our cities as dead or the great lively city that never sleeps or whatever.

There will be thousands of theories on what went wrong, what could have been done, fire personnels didnt even have the basic equipment and they were literally jumping into fire without specific gears to handle the fire. There will be politicians visiting the deceased, with their false sympathies, giving them compensations and jhooti dilasa. There will be talks about some brave souls who didnt care for their own lives and jumped into the ill-fated building to save the choking and jumping people.

It is almost so sad and disheartening to see that nothing serious is ever done in our country, no steps are taken, to see to it that there are rules, there are norms, there are regulations and there is enforcement. I see, you see, we all see, various people voicing their concerns over blogs, letters to the editors, and media and wherever possible. After sometime all this dies down and we are left with a few grieving families who sooner or later dry up their tears, accept the happening as fate and say, "Uska utna hi likha tha" "Ashte bardiradu" and move on.

I ask, Really, really kya uska utna hi likha tha?, what nonsense, is all i can say!!

What really can be done and should be done now:

1) Make very strict laws and enforcements on building and constructions.
2) Make fire drills mandatory for every organisation. (each individual should know what to do, how to use equipment lying to save themselves)
3) I heard a fire personnel say, People should have crawled, this avoids choking, the wind was blowing towards east/west/north or some direction and that people should have gone to the opposite side and broken windows, - Hello, did you train people in this, did you spread awareness about all this? They should have done this and that and what not, it DOES NOT MATTER NOW, they are dead now. SOme are in ICU some are battling for life and death, a few lucky ones are out to tell first hand experiences. But bottom line is after it happens, they should have done this or that!!????
4) The most important thing, the blue collared laborer also needs to be trained. i have observed over the years that, this work force really needs to be trained in lot of areas other than what they do. We need them to clean and keep our offices sparkling, we need them to get Chai, to maintain the diesel for our gen sets, tons of diesel was stored on the roof of the carlton towers, what were the diesel doing there, it could have blown up the whole place in a more devastating manner, we were lucky again..
We need them, but at what cost? They cannot be there doing just the mundane work without knowing ABC's of safety, or a sound working knowledge of which doors to lock and the common knowlegde which is required in the running of a building. How can emergency exits be locked, bolted and latched?? Who is accountable for this, dont managements have a system in place to check all this?

Many a times, we hear people telling us, "Its ok, nothing will happen, you use this bindaas". How can you be so sure, Like the Kerla boat tragedy where again, many tourists sank along with our Mini-Titanic. Again i am sure, that "nothing will happen" attitude that we show comes into limelight.
How the hell do you know nothing will happen, what if it does, so you bloody well, take all the precautions needed. You better have ten life gaurds, you better have emergency boats, i am sure the owners were thinking, KUCH NAHI HOGA YAAR..which cost these holidayers their lives.

Everybody is screaming out there, in India, lives are cheap, sasta, abroad every life is precious and they will guard it, come what may. Accidents, mishaps happen, but again and again and again.. Uphar tragedy happened 13 years back and the justice still awaits, will it take the burning down of a major political establishment for us to wake up and take steps required?

The time is NOW, take action NOW, everyone is talking about this NOW, but our government seems to be asleep. A recent photo of one of our state's MLA dancing in full "Beedi jalyilee style" along with bar girls to entertain other MLA's made me think, what am i doing, what are we doing, what is Indias educated brigade doing? Apart from actively blogging and commenting on each others blogs with fiery statements? my heart bleeds to see such things, i mean, these are the bloody goons in power, country makers, Visionaries(god knows if he has any other visions than a semi clad or nude woman in his dreams) in power.

Coming back to the tragedy in Namma Bengaluru, wake up sid, wake up every one. We can do a lot in changing our attitudes, taking things seriously first, its really not ok, and all is not well, if we keep going like this, if we dont do anything about our "Sab chalta hai attitude".

pool sham- builders lure wanna be swimmers

2010-02-18T09:34:00.000-08:00

So, you look at the brochures online, you go do the personal site visit, you have seen every nook and corner of the property, there is enough sunlight, there is enough air, and to top it all, it has a Swimmmmmmming pool. That is so more than enough for an average wannabe house owner to fall for the trap.

I fell for it. I had just learnt swimming, the beautiful apartment complex we were considering owning a flat in was inviting enough for us to just go for it now. In a months time, we bought the good landscaped, swimming pool with all amenities wala flat.
We had seen many but this one also came with a ready to occupy tag, and that was more than enough to really finalize on it. So there we were in A month doing the necessary and booking it and then registering it, doing the house warming pooja. Along with all this came the next hunt, our hunt for a good sasta and tikaoo interior guy. Found one got the interiors done. Still whenever i would visit my would be flat, i would look at the pool with a huge sigh. I would wonder and imagine myself jumping into the beautiful blue water in the summer and being all toned for the year's parties.

Little did i realise that the pool was actually a far dream and not anywhere close to reality. It was literally for the kids and the elders didnt stand a chance. Either they were too busy or if they werent, they would become the centre of attraction if they did get into the pool.

Our swimming pool actually lies in the centre of all the four building blocks of our complex. Little did i realise that it would take ages for the completion of each flats wood work and that the pool would not be used at all by us.

SO now many of us water lovers stand in our balconies and look at the blue waters with a huge sigh and hope for the workers of all the flats to finish woodwork soon and bugger off so we can use the pool. But that seems to be a distant dream as there are 120 flats in the complex and i wonder when each and every flat will get ready we will have a new set of workers who will be more than willing to ogle and make the women feel uncomfortable. (not that the men will be spared too)

(this is the sad story of most of our apartment complexes, so next time a builder claims "all amenities with the all ELUSIVE SWIMMING POOL, be cautious, tread very carefully, only if the pool is tucked away behind the complex or is covered in the side fall for it. Otherwise say, I have more choice, there is no dearth of flats. Dont fall for the pool MIRAGE:)

My name is NUTS!

2010-02-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

Whats wrong with every channel on indian television. right now i am seeing reporters actually following the story so seriously and saying that serious discussions are happening whether or not the multiplex owners will screen MY name is KHAN'..

Lets accept it, any publicity is good, so be a scandal or rumor or blames.. Ultimately stars and the movie makers and the business thrives.. and the Janta gets a good masala for days on news channels. We actually go about following the story like it is the only real thing happening anywhere and the big story this hour is... blah blah blah....

i really dunno if Sharukh should have said what he said, or what the jobless marathi manus propogandists are right in their way, but all said and done, we the people are surely getting a good live reality show, and this time run by none other than TV Channels.

Aman ki Asha on one side, Pakistani artistes performing in India, our selfish politicians making divisive politics, and ruining the countries peace by dividing it further on the name of states and languages. What kind of hypocracy is this, on one side peace ki asha, or rather Aman and on the other side, attack your own people, on the basis of what someone said or did .. like hanging on to words, like you say something and i am going to ' SULI PE CHADA DOONGA'

Is this democracy.. sadly .. its a mockery of one.. but what more can an educated person like me sit and do but blog.. will i go join politics tomorrow to fight for a more national cause, will we MNC job crazy people leave our plush jobs at AC offices and struggle for the nation. I guess, no, but i really hope more more of us atleast think of doing such things.

As ForMy name is Khan, the movie is already a semi hit.. sleep well, SRK, Kjo and others,, keep tweeting.. or blogging.. aam janta cant get enough of house politics or national politics.. BRING IT ON... we are waiting for more reality NATAK..

Kid's dilemma or more so a parents dilemma

2009-12-21T01:28:00.000-08:00

What is the fuss about

The fuss todays young parents create about their little ones in amazing to watch. I understand that we as adults must give a choice to our children and all that new age mumbo jumbo.. but i was just wondering otherwise. Its a simple thing, if we dont give our kid the exposure it needs at a young age, if we start helping them form judgements and opinions in a young age as young as THREE.. god knows how judgmental and closed this person is going to grow up and be. And dont mind me saying this, our society doesnt have any dearth of opinionated and judgmental people that we want another generation to grow up like that.

Why it should bother us:
Certainly there are going to be lot of arguements on this, and one i did have myself with a friend. This friend belives that a child should not be forced about things like, attending a concert/ weather or not it wants to be a part of a particular party/ weather or not he wants to go to somebodies house or not. Its a three year old child, let him/her expereince things, dont give in to everything every tantrum of his.

Wat am i saying: arent we restricting him from having a wholesome experience of life.. he likes it or not comes at a latter stage.
I am not one for imposing things on anybody, but all i am saying is give him the exposure, so that he is not too quick in making judgements about situations and events.

Remebering how we grew up:
I remember having attended lot of functions, lot of getogethers, family, friends, movies, playing with other kids, being tagged along for surfing expeditions of elder cousins while the kids played in shallow with woofy(pet), we saw it all.. we were every where, doing lot of things, ofcourse we didnt decide weather we liked a place or not, but we just went with the flow.
With the ourburst of new parenting rules and this whole theories of choice and let them be, let them do what they like, i wont force him, is fine,, but somewhere i think it is robing children of that innocence. By not taking him to a concert because he got bored in a previous one is like saying, i wont sing again, because i lost in that particular music concert.

Giving them a choice but with the right exposure:

I believe that children need to experience a lot, our over protecting them and fussing over them only makes them even fussier individuals. Take them along with you, let them enjoy, not like it once/ twice.. explain to them, that give it a shot, see if you like it, dont make your child a restless human, who cant sit in one place for even a minute.

Let him be a wholesome individual who has seen the world and then makes his own choices about what he likes and what he doesnt. As far as adult hood is concerened there is a lot of time for opinions and judgements, let him see, experience, dont force but dont make him a fuss too.. If you can get him along to a friends house even when he doesnt like it that much then i am sure you are keeping him away from concerts other places only because its convenient to you.

Lastly, i do beleive in freedom of choice, and i am no dictator, but i also firmly think that as a child you ought to experience so much and be a whole rounded personality who is game for everything in life and such kids certainly do grow up to be enthusiastic about life. Others who are left to choice, i feel are big fusses in life.

So take your child out, enjoy with him/her, show them your world, make them a part of your life too, maybe when they grow up they will be more accepting and enthusiastic and not judge situations or people.

ITS NOT THAT BAD..

2009-12-16T04:59:00.000-08:00

IT REALLY AINT THAT BAD

Why do women try to become thin after all, why arent we ever happy with the way we look, why do we have to look so good all the time, what is with us and the weighty issue. I would like to ponder over all this today..

Now why do i say, that its not that bad is because any situation in our lives, cannot be that bad after all. Really, you realize this only after a lot of thinking, a lot of experience and pondering over your own experiences. Today i am going to write about the age old problem of weight loss. Really what is with women and weight, i never got to understand this, but as they say you are either slim and fit or you are not. If you are, then either you have a thin gene or you excersice regularly, if you don't then maybe, you haven't taken care of that body or your gene is just a fat one. Without getting too philosophical about the fat problem i am going to impart very simple and easy pointer which can be followed to beneficial results.

1) Sorry to break the bad news- Some people have the tendency to put on weight and you will put on weight even if you believe that you are starving youself.

2) No amount of starving will make you thin.

3) TO loose those pounds, EAT!

4) Start by simply getting active around the house, cut the maid some slack and move your butt to do mundane things like, giving the plate you eat in a wash, run down the stairs to keep the trash, and climb back too, do the dusting yourself, make your own bed every day, (its quite tiring to pin up all the four sides), cook- it takes lot of energy to cook, the cutting/chopping/bending for vessels/ the whole routine can be surprisingly fulfilling and help you burn important calories.

5) Take up gardening, do it yourself.

6) Infact, DIY in all situations and see the results.

7) Fill your kitchen and fridge with - Fruits, Nuts, greens, vegetables and whenever you are hungry, try to eat a fruit salad or just munch on the apple,, instead of lays and aliva and all the junk you get today.

8) Try lemon shots after lunch and dinner, cuts the carb and removes toxins from the body.

9) Eat dinner before 8 pm, that will give you some time to digest the food and also have a fruit 2 hrs after the meal if you want.

10) Raise early, go for a walk, start with stretching and some yoga. Do what makes you happy. If it is dance, then take up that dance class you have ben thinking of all your life. Just shake up, and wake up.

11) You have to have atleast one activity in a day, yoga, walking, swimming, aerobics, pilates, whatever works for you. Belive me, you are never too busyfor you health.

12) Lastly, each persons system is different, your body works differently, just accept it. Be consistent in whatever exercise routine you have.

13, Lastly lastly, you just have to, have to put in effort, no miracles will happen, you are the miracle to make it happen. So, just go for it.

(Early risers are a little ahead of people who sleep till late, its simple, they get up early and get to plan their day, its tough, but its not impossible. Push yourself and tell your body, once you have seen the benefits of waking up early belive a me, you wont love your bed as much as you do now)

Bai bye bye- will we ever say this?

2009-12-08T02:12:00.000-08:00

Why is an Indian household incomplete without a bai? many of us have pondered over this thought and still hired one. Let me explain the concept of the bai to people who may not know her too well. A bai is a house maid, she is a helping hand in the never ending house chores in Indian homes.

She will do as much as you pay her, they come in all kinds, they are part time ones, then you have the full time ones, there are the in house maids too. But they all have their own conditions and no two 'bai's have the same process of work.

In our diverse land you will find that almost everyone who can afford has to have a Bai. Be it towns or cities, villages or taluks, the rich and the famous and the not so rich and the famous, every body needs her. In some HIndi movies the eternal Ramu kaka tried to replace the Shanta bai, but alas, kaka had to give up to make room for the fairer sex.

Now, the more you pay her the more comfort she gives you. NRI's miss this comfort and so hire one and also pay for her ticket when they take her abroad. SInce Indians are not the best at DYI situations, they think it is really best to take one from here to give the memsahib some relief from the house work.

I always thought that we have one simply because we can afford her and because mummy cant do everything on her own and i didnt want to do the work either. Only after all these years of home makergiri have i really understood why maids are so important.

Its all because the Of the MEN! yes its them, now dont get me wrong, its not some men like Shiney Ahuja i am talking about who need bai's for other reasons, i am talking about men in general, like my husband, ur husband, her brother, her father.. MEN as a race..

They dont want to help around the home at all. its like i get the bread, so you do everything, even if the woman does get the share of the bread, still she is expected to balance things and strike a balance between work and homework. A man doesnt want to get up from his sofa and even arrange the dinner table, nor does he think drying the clothes for a change would be quite a help to the poor wife, or take the kids out for a change, or for that matter, give the dhobi clothes for ironing, damn they dont even know, where the clothes are.

And all this, thanks to mommys.. Mommys are always pampering the sons which makes them the king who shouldnt do anything at home. He is ghar ka beta, or man of the house, and he shouldnt be asked to clean even his stinking bathroom and toilet. Gosh, can you beat that, men in our country and maybe others too, i havent seen much families outside.. generally, men are lords..

and so, alaas, the BAI rules.

The bai gives us trouble, takes huge amounts as salary and doesnt show up just when the 'bartan' have over flowed from the sink. Just when you are going to have 10 people for lunch, just when you had that very important class to attend.. In short we are at the mercy of this all doer woman, who is so capable in what she does tat she can finish the entire household work in an hours time and you thought it would take the entire day.

That is why we pay them so much. That is the reason, Indian Bai is indispensible..

The Dependent Independeant!

2009-10-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

Can we ever be truely on our own? Can the Indian independent working woman too be bracketed in this bracket of Independence?!?
As i watch Erin Brockovich maybe the 100th time, i suddenly stop to think, can a working woman in India really be like this one. Can she be on her toes with 3 kids to raise on her own. I mean, i am not challenging the modern working class of Indian women, but what i am talking about is our set up, our social set up.

The movie shows Erin dropping off and picking up kids from the neighbours, an informal nanny and people around who support her in raising her kids. Can a single mother in our social set up do all this, if some of you do, then pardon my exposure cause i havent come across such a neighbourhood and such gutsy women. Again, i know women in our country are juggling home, pregnancy, babies, inlaws, marriage and to add it all the MAIDS.

Maids have become the backbone of every household these days, our dependence on them is raised to the extent of we cant think of a home without that luxury in mind. I have heard of people these days paying insane amounts to nannys and maids. Some stay the whole day, some work partime and some are inhouse maids. Come what may, she is given the first preference in any household.
Mrs X : 'There is a Puja in my house in the morning, please come'.
Mrs Y : 'Oh, is it? But my maid comes only in the morning, so i will come only after she leaves, shall i come by lunch?
Mrs x: But the Puja is in the morning.
Mrs y : No problem, I ll send my maid to collect the prasadam by afternoon.

She is the One..

Erin doesnt have a maid or an official nanny she can pay to look after her three angels. She just has a neighbour, who will look out on them when she is away at the law firm or working elsewhere, then she has a boyfriend who stays at home. We cant have neighbours looking after our kids when they themselves have nannys and ayas to do their job. SO its more like we are on our own, we dont have an interdependable system or the system of 'one for all, all for one'.

Now you are wondering what is "ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE". Its called unity. Unity brings in workability. I shouldn't have to give up my job if i want to work only to look after the children, thats another thing if you really want to be around to be there for them 24/7. But it should be a choice, if someone cant afford a nanny, cant we be united and say, i ll look after them for 4 hours, or we can be a helping hand sometimes. But our society has become devoid of this mutual understanding. Here independence also means that i wouldnt have to take the help of my neighbour, that i would never have to ask for anything from anyone around.

If Erin didn't have the dull neighbor who would watch her three angels or the hippie like boyfriend who would care for the kids when she was away, could she have afforded a nanny, when she didn't have enough to eat or even feed the family 3 square meals?

So people, can we all become a more united lot out here, and say that we will try to follow a, 'one for all and all for one,' approach from now?
But also be wise and check the neighbors credentials before you drop off those precious lil ones, before you go to work, or on a special date, or for your yoga class. Because i really think that motherhood should not be a hindrance or one should not treat motherhood as a hindrance to her normal activities in life.

Have we become fond of isolation? Have we become less welcoming and more to our own? Will our kids have to be taught to say even a 'Hello' to guests? (because they are so use to no one coming home) Will we have to find places to visit like malls and theaters? Wont we ever ever again, just barge into a friends or relatives house unannounced? Will we always fear that our neighbor might be a child abuser? will we never ever have the luxury of interdependence?

WIll we never realise that indeed, ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL' still works. Unity is still the greatest asset in the world.

Create your own ME time, Sex and the City style..

2009-09-14T00:34:00.003-07:00

Cirlce of trust-create one of your own:

Carrie Bradshaw and her three best friends, Miranda Hobbs, Charlotte York and Samantha Jones in the famous citcom, Sex and the City may send us all girls really envious and sigh, i wish i had such friends, i wish i had the thing that these girls share. This is certainly for people who watch one of these citcomes like Friends and Sex and the City and the likes. These serials are based on friendships, relationships, social problems, sex, taboos, myths jargans and many other things. What it also focusses a lot on is relationships, actually the centric point about them is the kind of relationship that friends share.

Unlike, our serials which are very much about the relationships more closer to home, they focus on an individuals level, like her career, her friends, her relationships with maybe bosses, lovers, neighbours etc.

I personally would love to have a caring Carrie, a daring and adventurous Samantha or the sensitive Charlotte or the cool Miranda in my life and i think many women of our generation think so too and agree with me. Me and my dear friend often sigh about not having a circle of trust like these girls have. But again, i go back to thinking, is it that we really dont have such people around us or are we always looking for something apart from what we have. Its like this, I have x but I want y.
Why is it that we are always looking for something, and we cant see the people we already have in our lives. Sure our hearts and minds will start comparing with the tele charachters and want people in life to behave and act like those charachters in the reel, but thats not possible, hello, because we are real people and not perfect.

Perfection doesnt exist in those charachters too in the serials, they have their own shortcomings too. But i have seen this too many times in life, infact i myself am guilty of shunning some people from my life, just cause they dont fit into my bracket of friendship. Really, to have a circle like the sex and the city ones, is so rare. To want something is one thing, but to really have it is another, and many of us could actually have that if only we gave up looking for perfection in people, If we ourselves arent perfect how can we expect someone else to be.

I could be wrong, but i have seen this in our society, our priorities are different. Here we have so many people vying for our attention that it becomes difficult to maintain a cirle of trust like the ones we really want. My search for a group or cirlcle like the four charachters took me on a long journey of search. But i realised, that its difficult for us, unlike my UK days, where i made more friends in a year than i ever did in my entire life back home, life demanded more from us here in our homeland. There is Family, there is family keertans, there is family getogethers, there is family birthdays, there is also the 'own home' purchases projects, there is this entire rut of life. Then there are maid servants, there are children, could be babies, could be school going, could be full grown adults but still babies, there are husbands, there are in laws, there are shopping trips, there are saloon trips, there are meeting the parents trips, there Is the Internet time, there is the money handling time and a lot more time. But i wonder in all this, is there a ME time for the average middle class person??

People with babies have to do what they have to do, people with little children have to do what THEY have to do, in the same way each one of us has to what each one has to do. But if you see, for a woman to have ME time in a middle class scenrio is really difficult. Or its just that we dont want to have it. We are so use to prioritising maids first in our lives and then the children that we hardly ever live for ourselves. Is it so difficult? I dont have children as of yet so may be i am missing out the real point here, when my friends tell me they have to work around their kid to make some Me time, i wonder, if i am better off without a kid here.. I love children, but i love life too.. it should nt be an obstruction to anything, i mean dont treat your kid like she/he is a hindarance for you to do what you want to do, teach him to be independant from a young age, teach him that mom has a life of her own too. And if you think that this will happen all of a sudden one day, guess what, it wont. I have an aunt in her early 50's who still has to work around her children, who are working adults to have some ME time.

So, to be a Carrie or Miranda or Samantha, or Charllote, we have to prioritise life, in a way that each one gets to live some life as ME time. I would never give up ME time, but hey wait a minute, maybe mumdom can be excused, because Mirandas life too goes up side down when a baby comes into her life. so maybe its difficult for young mums, but if you see its a life long thing, you will always have somehting to do, somewhere to go, Can you give up Me time for that??

Sigh, wish i had friends like that (sex and the city; Friends) Hey look around, maybe you do.. you are just not aware that you already have great company, just be aware and go have fun, make ME time.

signatures-write and tell

2009-07-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

Found this very interesting piece of information on the net, wanted to share it with readers. So what does a signature mean.. It can actually mean a lot, it can say it all, it can leave you exposed. But its very intersting to know what these tell you. each person has a different signature, no two signatures are same, they could be similar but not the same. It goes to proove that no two people in the world are the same too.

Here are some patterns and what they mean:

# SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN!!
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a
little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life"

# TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!!
These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their
fiancées as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other
persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract
others.

# SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN!
These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very
cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back
at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.

# NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!!
These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to
others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.

# RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN!!
These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say
anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other
person of what he is talking of.

# RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN!!
These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These
people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction
of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong.
You can win them just by flattering them.

# SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS!!
These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready
to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seem
to think a lot and may get angry very soon.

# WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN!!
These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any
environment & to the person they are talking.These persons are very firm on
their views & posses a lot of will power.

i am sad, i am analysing, i am contemplating, wat are you doing?

2009-07-28T04:12:00.000-07:00

Read me.. Yes, thats right, read me........

I never knew, i could get so desperate, and yell, 'read me'. Well, i am sad that i am writing my blog and no one is reading them. Sometimes i wonder, is it all about being witnessed? is it all about showcasing ourselves, is it all about living for other people.

Look, here, i am saying, read me, which obviously means, i am sad about not being read, not being heard out or just that people are reading but its not enough for them to reach out to me and comment, they have nothing to say to me. Hmmm.. well.. thats ok.. because i just realised that somewhere each one of us is dying to be witnessed, some of us are sucessful at it, some are trying to, some are getting there, some are already so very there, like our reality show artistes. Yes i say artistes and not participants, mind you.

What is it with them, I dont care who Rakhi Sawanth marries, but i watch, so Rakhi has actually been super sucessfull in getting her life witnessed not only by a hand ful like her family but the entire nation. SOme are even more sucessfull, like an Amitabh or a Tom Cruise or even Dear old Micheal Jackson. The entire world followed thier life, what they do, who they marry, who they adopt, who they date, its all there. Nothing hidden. Sitting here in any corner of the world I can know that when it flooded in Mumbai, Mr Bacchans house too was flooded.

Phew, so many witnesses of ones life. Sharukh had a back surgery and the whole world knew. Saif has visited the emergency ward more than once and see, so many of us prayed for him. Amir is going to be father again, Salmaan has made a solid come back on the small screen, Sach ka saamana is making ripples at the Lok Sabha too.

So much for so many witnesses or say too many witnesses. They say that we get married so that we have someone who will witness our lives. I say who said this, nowadays with all these new reality shows and the media entering our very very private lives do we need witneses of our lifes.. I think the answer is yes, we do need those witnesses.

The aam admi still needs Mummy/Daddy/Pati/patni/devar/chachi/bhabhi/tayi/mausa/Mausi to witness each others life. Other wise whats there to life, we come and go, its all in those witnesses that there is all to life.

So somewhere we all want a witness to our lives, we all want to be heard, to be seen, to be known.

Like my neighbour aunty, always wants her new recepies and dishes to be known in the entire neighbourhood, like when we fall sick we want the whole family by our bedside, like when we get married, we need witnesses, when we give birth to new lifes we need witnesses, when we buy that new home we need people to come and dirty those new walls, yes we do need them, in the same way i need people to read my blog... :-)

Agreements we enter

2009-07-14T08:21:00.001-07:00

'Gosh, i am so nervous, you know i have never had such a huge audience'. wow.. here you go..bang.. you just entered an agreement, that too an unknown one.

'Gee, i am not that great a cook ok, i am also slow at it and i am not regular with cooking too, i am a bit lazy when it comes to all this' here you go, another one.

'How are you so organised? i always wondered how you plan your day so well, i suck at it'.

I will not stop here, i will go on to ruin some more of myself.

The other day, i bumped into an old friend whom i invited for lunch and she actually asked me, 'So tell me you have a cook, cause i want to live some more'. Yeah, i know, dont get so senti, it was just a joke, ya ya i know.. i myself said all this, i myself enlightened people about how i dont cook that well, when i actually do, i myself said i am not regular with cooking, when i definitely have at least two dishes for each meal.

How about this, i am with old friends from school and i suddenly burst out saying, yeah i was forgetful from beginning, that kind of hasn't changed.. duh, who remembers how i was in school but hey, I just reminded them. And actually re affirmed it, even if i am kind of ok with remembering things offlate.

By now you must be thinking, ok, whats the point. The point is that we make agreements about ourselves all the time, and some of us make positive ones and some of just have foot in the mouth situations and ruin it for ourselves. So the next time you are in conversation with someone, keep in mind that you are creating yourself, the other person doesnt know, doesnt care, doesnt want to know what you are all about, but what he gets is, what you say about yourself.

So if you are saying, that your nervous about singing in front of people, it gets registered, you are always going to be someone who is fearfull, who is not so confident and a timid rat. So even if one day you are over it and think you are this confident person, people always relate to you as what you have said. Remember, we create ourselves, we actually tell people what we are and what we arent, otherwise no one is out there evaluating you all the time. Its us, we are all the time creating agreements about ourselves.

So if the agreement about you is that you are timid, look back, watch your own words, when did you yourself talk yourself into this agreement. when did you start telling people irrelevant stories about how scared you are when you talk to seniors, how scared you are when you talk to elder people, or how scared you are of aggressive women. When, just when have you been talking or yapping away without thinking about the agreement, the creation.

Next time someone assumes you will bungle up the song on stage, you will take forever to make dinner, you will not be able to do the project on time, that you suck at remembering things, just look back, dont judge them wrong, or assume that people get me wrong all the time.. Maybe, just maybe, in the past or sometime recent, you were yapping away your sad story about being this bad singer, being this timid performer, being this sucker cook, being terrible at memory, its all you, its all in our word.

Gosh, i talk a lot.. Hey did i just enter another agreement, the next time you meet me, dont taunt me on that. Now i make a new agreement about myself, did you know i am not nervous while writing this blog, did you know i dont get nervous while singing with instruments, yes thats exactly my point.

Unless you dont create yourself in your language, dont speak good about yourselves, no one will know, all they will know is you are not good at this and you are not good at that.. they will never know the other stuff, the good stuff, the real stuff, the real YOU. So, go on and create yourselves..

Bizzare stuff - WHAT AN IDEA SIRJEE

2009-07-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

There is an Abhishek Bachan ad doing the rounds these days and the tag line goes like, Walk while you talk..

At first it goes like a doctor prescribing this remedy on TV and the entire population following his word, which leaves him jobless in the end. What an idea sirjee.. when the world over people are telling others to be safe and take care while on the road, we are giving our already bizarre people some more bizarre ideas. How many times have u had to screech your car or bike, to save from crashing into someone chatting away into their mobile phones? how many times have you yelled at someone behind the wheel just because he was talking while driving. So all these tag lines or creative lines can be really adding to all the prevailing chaos.

While i surely to love AbhishekBacchaan, i dun want to see him adding to nonsense in our lives. Walk while you talk,, phew,, i am sure they could think of something else. Its the silliest actually, more than silly, its misleading for our aam janta because most often we follow blindly without thinking about consequences.. oh its kewl, lemme also walk while i talk and here i go, i cross the road with a mobile in my hand and then, who knows, anything can happen to you. Keeping that in mind, this mindless campaign surely must stop.

Recently, somebodys status message read, love the walk while you talk campaign, i was like, dude, whats there to love about it, yes you shouldn't block the roads and stand chatting, but certainly dont publicize such stupid ideas. Courtesy is in taking your phone away and keep talking not at your life's risk is all i am saying.

The Hall Experience

2009-06-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, I rather see the movie on my home-theatre!! But what about the big screen, ya… my big screen is big enough. What about sound effects? What about them, sound is also good enough; we really are ok with watching Dev D on the DVD. Okkk is what I said and let it go there, but I kept thinking of this culture difference between my newfound best friend and me. So does that mean, people wont go to the theatres to enjoy the grandeur of cinema anymore!!!

Sigh, what a pity, I said to myself and sulked a little more about it to my husband too. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, so she wants to enjoy her homes privacy and the comfort and lie back on a couch instead of the plush lazy boy chair of a PVR. Its her choice. Of course its her choice I said, and I respect her for that, but what about ‘cinema’. What about it?

Here I was thinking all day long, thinking about why some people deny themselves of the pleasure of going to a movie hall. Why they prefer the DVD’S and confine themselves to their homes to watch a movie. What is the point? For me its always been the whole experience of watching the big screen with larger than life pictures on them, seeing each one of the colours come live on the screen.

It’s almost a sin not to see the actor’s most feeble expressions and dance with them in joy or to cry feeling every tear you see. Every emotion comes to life, as if it were your life instead of the character’s life on screen. I want to hear the dialogues as if I am saying them and let them ring in my head for an entire week even after I have seen the movie. I want the songs to be so loud that I drown in the music; I want the whole dhik chak mujic to resonate as loud as possible and the dolbys to thunder in the deepest corner of my ear.

I can almost see how by now you know I am a movie hall freak. But you too must admit that seeing a movie in the theatre is nothing close to watching it at home on a DVD.

Common, remember the whole hall and each person gritting his/her teeth when Amir Khan and his friends were being gunned down at the radio station in Rang de Basanti, remember how each person was falling off his chair laughing seeing Happy at work in Singh is King. The whole hall standing when the national anthem is played, the feeling is that of collective pride and an awesome feeling of oneness.

The break often brings in the smell of hot popcorn and the latest additions like nachos or a baskin and robin ice cream, or someone hogging on an entire chat plate. Its celebration, it’s a party, it’s a grand outing. Its also a time to check who is watching the movie with you, like you look around and walk past other fellow viewers with your popcorn in hand. It could be an interesting little break to find some old friends at the same hall too.

A nod to your neighbour, the collective roar of laughter, passing a tissue when someone cries inconsolably for Marley the pooch from ‘Marley and Me’, are all experiences the home theatre walas miss. Those are the moments; the joy of a crowd is connecting through that one movie. So go out and watch the latest flick, if you haven’t done so in a long time, give your home theatre a teeny-weeny break for just a while.

WHEN WE WERE SMALL WE WERE CERTAINLY NOT LIKE THIS.

2009-06-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

Cute baby photos are what i scan a lot these days, and i save some of them too. So if somebody is seeing my lap top for instance will know immedietely that here is someone either expecting or expecting to be an expecting mom.. uff.. so much for the speculation, and so much for the jumbling of words and the mind.

I ll tell you, kids today are not what we were, i mean i know every generation feels that, oh, when we were small we were not like this. Today they are a lot smarter, they are a lot that we werent. They are confident, they are techno savy, they are everything savy, they know stuff. You ll find them boggie woggying around in the best of clothes, you ll find them becoming badshahs of laughter, my they can have some humour huh and they can get hold of your mobile and play those video games which are just an application to you, isnt it!!!(well, atleast for me video games are not something i enjoy, and i am proud to say i have never played a video game, well, actually i suck at it)

Switch on the TV and you ll find them selling you every damn thing, from a toothpaste to soap, from a basmathi rice to noodles, from technology to life insurance policies, my God, they are everywhere, they are the best sales people according to me and a lot of advertising gurus and the numbers are telling it. A shoo cute little kid says something awfully cute, and look what you are doing the next day in your super market. Yes, you are actually buying that toothpaste that dream kid vouched for, or you are thinking of replacing that or scooter for a new one just because the kid thinks its cool. Think about it, how many times have you done it! Hmm.. i can say i have fallen for that innocent smile and cute lines quite many times. And God save parents who have the same age children as those kid models, they really have a tough time convincing their kids against something unneccessary.

Now have you noticed that when you think of kids its always one of these cute little blond babies that come to your mind, like the cerelac ones or the johnson and johnson ones.. we all want the cute ones.. we adore them, they are shoooo cute and so on goes the adulation. Yes i know now lot of you wont agree with me on the face but , just lets give it a thought and tell yourselves the truth, we all think cute. we all think fair, cute, chubby blond babies who grow up into cuter children.

Stop to think of it, most children, babies and little ones are very cute. But not everyone's a poster boys for sure. But this is changing, i recently saw an ad where children are playing galli cricket, where the kid says, uncle, dusre haath pe bhi maaro, kyunki yeh bhi sixer hi hoga.. now this is an ordinary kid, these are the kinds i am talking about, the very people next door types. I would certainly adore the cute ones but lets admit it that not everybody can have poster kids// like this one...

I was shocked when i asked my maids cute little smiling child, what all does he study in school. The boy who claims to be in 6th, (looks like a 1 st standard child) said, emmm,, nothing much.. ganitha- i asked- okhay- what else- he was like, kannada- great, what else- emm, nothing much, ganitha only.. he said they come to teach only ganitha which is math.. I asked what about English, what about the others. He said, our English teacher doesnt come to school. COme againe.. i have read about this in papers, but i assumed that, ok, i am an aware elite class person, i know i have read about these things that teachers dont attend their classes in Government schools, but this is REALL?? and this happens inspite of the "enlightening ARTICLES" appearing in the newspapers?? really?? teachers dont come to school, so they actually bunk classes. shouldnt such teachers be fined.. shouldnt such irresponsibilty be accounted for, just because its a government school and the cute, elite, priveledged kid doesnt go there, shud it be run so badly.

Shivappa, sorry not the poster boy kid of our dreams, attends school from 8 am to 3 pm, and what does he learn, how many classes does he have in a day, does he have a time table, does he have a lunch break, does he have tests, does he actually study for them, do he and his friends actually have a PT class? or are they just left out like cattle into the playground at that time. I really want to know. Dont Shivappa and his likes deserve a decent education if at all. But as i say this another thought occured to my mind that is atleast they are not uneducated, maybe someday Shivappa will realise his true potential and will study hard and ask for his classes his right that a teacher assigned to his class actually comes and teaches the lessons he is meant to be learning.

Do these kids also cry for that new choclate they saw in an ad in a cute baby's hand? Do likes of SHivappa, make a hue and cry about not having the latest X box? Do they cry about not able to win the tennis match because of not having the latest Nike shoes? Do they fuss about loosing a reality show? I dont know, i really dont, but i want to know. I want to know what these real life poster kids, do to fit in, or not fit in. It aches, we talk about the beggars on the street, make movies on them, give them stardom, but do we really care.

Lets try, to make every kid we know the poster boy we dreamt of, it is his/her right. Because every child deseves the best. Because in his own right he is already the best.

Its time to hit back: Turn into a woman for one day!!!

2009-03-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hitting women, punching them, trying to remove their clothes, what has this mad man called Mutalik unleashed in the name of saving culture. Does he even realize the damage he has done to the society? Dirty and frustrated men are now on the loose, attacking any successful woman they see on road. This is the unhealthiest trend ever seen in the History of Bangalore.

In the wake of attacks on women from every walk of life, whether a woman chooses to wear a slawaar or a pair of jeans is none of anybody’s business except the respective woman’s. With increasing attacks on women of our society, the time has come for another challenge, a radical one. We tried telling them through retaliation in form of symbolic protests, they didn’t deter, we tried shouting out loud that we know what to do, please leave us alone, they still consider us their property, now is the time for a real lesson. I suggest that we give it back, they want to hit us, lets hit them back, come what may we don’t allow them to harm us. Move only in groups for a while, carry pepper sprays, chilly powder and if needed a knife to threaten these rogues.

But before that, my invitation to Mr Mutalik, would be to be a woman for a day and experience what it is to be one. Apart from all the duties and expectations that a lady fulfils with great ease, she also gracefully plays various dynamic roles in the society. But the point is, I want him to actually have a day out dressed as a woman.

Mutalik doesn’t realise the damage which he has done with the Mangalore incident. The anti-social goonda elements have got a safe hound under which they can go ahead and harm women under the false and hypocritical pretext of protecting Indian culture, which as we all know is utter nonsense.

We as women would really then, like to know, how his day out was as a woman, was he pinched in the butt, or nudged in the thigh, did someone grab his arm just like that or did someone pass the most sleaziest remark at him just because he is a woman.

Its easy to try to control something which you think is dangerous and threatening your own notions of freedom. But to really understand what a woman faces on a day to day basis on any given road in any given place on earth is different. We are under constant threats by such radical thoughts and people who use such pretexts to harm women.

Women, I say, instead of presenting him pink chaddis I think now we should give him a jeans, a spaghetti, a saree, a salwar kameez and a wig. Let him wear all of them just to see if the bystanders and dirty lechers spare a woman in a saree or a salwaar kameez.

Only cowards attack vulnerable people, and its easy to catch someone off guard. Such incidents should not be spared and we as people need to start teaming up to fight this false war of culture.

I also wish, that all schools start teaching self defence for girls. SO tomorrow if a girl is attacked she can give them back more than a piece of her mind.

Last but not the least, Mutalik turning terror fighter is the biggest joke of the year. How can someone who has already spread terror, talk of fighting it.

Malini Misra Bhattacharya.

Its just a job, and i still dun have one!?!

2009-02-17T01:13:00.000-08:00

As i asked one of my friend to check if there was a vacancy in his company for a particular post and job, i dint know that i was crossing the thin line of asking for sifarish and just a friendly check or so. Like just asking someone to check, hey do you think there is this vacancy in your company types. Little did i know the guy actually wasnt prepared for me asking for a casual reference like this.

A week later i actually got a call from this company and I was called for a test in which i fared well, but then the interview sucked and i after all dint get the job. So here i was calling my friend and talking to him as if he cared, totally unaware of his triggering annoyance. Talking to him and letting him know of the progress seemed like a must do to me as it was because of his contact that i even got a call so soon.

Weeks later i get a call from my good friend again and this time, guess what, he actually had another job recommendation for me, says look, there is this opening, would you like to do it. I was like ya, i d love to, and landed up for an interview after which i even got the job. But there is a twist, i somehow didnt take it up.

Well, well well, here goes another oppurtunity, which i blew away on my own. Now who is to blame, ofcourse my indecisive nature. But that is not it. weeks later once again when i bump into my friend i couldnt stop myself from enquiring about a job posting from his company, which i saw in one of the job sites. There I go again.... This time my friend has had it, i really dint know that i was actually asking him to be my agent sort of. I dint think of it that way because, usually thats how you could land yourself into an oppurtunity. But that was the last I heard from him, because he obligded but really didnt take my job quieries lightly.

Recently when i heard from him, he actually told me that, he wouldnt help me in finding jobs, because, 'THAT IS NOT HIS JOB'.

Now what is this thin line i crossed, did i over shoot, did i expect too much from a friend, did i actually loose a friend. Well, I have lost many good friends in life, (so have you) but here, i am a little confused, arent so many people doing this, leveraging their contacts, Linkedin, orkut, facebook, job network sites... everyone is.. CUMMONNN.. was it this bad.. Can you no more ask a friend to be a friend. Is it impolite.... As far as I am concerend, i think yes, rules may have changed, maybe its no more just OK to ask for a job favour.. or even just checking out for you.

K Syndrome

2006-06-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

From the past five or more years the K syndrome has dominated the idiot box and has prompted many more such production houses to follow suit and make similar, repeated and boring family dramas with never ending episodes.

Mihir jaroor wapas ayega, so many re-births, the grand old lady of the serial, Ba is 200 years old if we go by the generations and actors that have added to the serial, the Virani women have the most gaudy of wardrobes and make up sets. Its Anurag once and another time its Mr Bajaj, the daughter in law wins sometimes and the motherinlaw the others. Its not only these two charechters fighting over silly matters the whole family is fighting with each other and then there is one ridiculously dressed con woman who is the wamp of the whole serial, sh eplots and plots and plots schemes which win sometimes and loose the other times. There are love stories which have good startings but end up being another run of the mill serial. There are stories of young women with dreams in their eyes and saying, 'yeh meri life hai' but again become the same scheming ladies when they end up getting married to their boyfriends.

These are our serials, and whats the message they give, that life is nothing but a game where one has to win. People keep playing games and revenge and gameplay and fouls are all they show. they are slow moving, boring, and full of useless masala and are repeated. Though our janta is glued to it as our producers dont give us any better options.

I want to know y cant we have more serials like Dekh bhai dekh and Ye jo hai zindagi. Why cant we have serials made on real life? Why cant we have something like Everybody loves Raymond which has so many family issues hidden behind the humour in it. Why cant we have a scrubs with real life humour in it. we have to have a painted tulsi and a over rated Ba, crying day after day.. these serials dont get over and our people arent taught anything more than quarelling over petty issues. If you are living together you will have fights and nothing else. this is what our serials today are full of. They are petty, silly, repeatetive and morally so low. Sure they are women oriented but show women only as scheming and quarelling people who put on makeup and dress up and only think of the next PLAN OR GAME to play..